Being re-virginized

So yesterday I'm walking towards temple getting ready to join the line for the security check prior to going into Kol Nidrei services. The holiest night of the year, Kol Nidrei and its adjoining holy day, Yom Kippur is where we ask God to forgive our sins. You get to start out with a new slate. I call it being re-virginized.
 

 

I'm talking with my friend Michael on the cell phone. "How many sins do you need to ask forgiveness for?" 

 

"2,524" I reply.

 

"That many?"

 

"2,525 if I count the woman I cut off in the parking lot this morning who was about to park in my reserved space."

 

The High Holy Days: also referred to as the Days of Awe, Last Chance for Jewish Identity (and/or redemption), The Twice a Year Temple Trot or whatever other little moniker you want to make up. What I look forward to is not the prayers (how many times can you ask for forgiveness? According to the Jews, once is NOT enough). It's the music and it's awesome due to two things: our Cantor, who is a female and has an opera-trained voice and the mighty Emanu-El choir. The combination is so powerful, so majestic, that every note uttered is a joy to the ear. And then there are my favorite songs that are sung during this period; perhaps my number one favorite is L'dov v'dor. The entire orchestration always brings tears to my eyes and if for a brief shining moment, all is well in the world.

 

While I may joke about religion what felt different this year compared to other years was my heart. And my heart was in another synagogue miles and miles away thinking about my cousins Lauren and Margie and their parents and family, how they were dealing with this holiday. Sitting there in "their row" at temple, there's a familiar face missing, their brother Peter, our cousin  whom we lost this year. Because not only is this a holiday where we ask for forgiveness from our sins (yet again) it's also a time to remember those who left us. There are some we only remember once a year; there are others like Peter whom we never forget. Most especially, today is a day for reflection, for whatever spiritual comfort that feels right  Sharing that comfort with those you love is the bonus track.

 

At the conclusion of the day's service, Rabbis around the world ask for the same things they as for every year: a new year of love, happiness and peace. You walk away feeling calm, comforted and cosseted. (On the other hand, there's my brother the Rabbi who prefers to break out in song. Don't ask.)

 

I'm only planning to be re-virginized for 45 minutes. But then again, purity was never my bag.  While I"m back to racking up the sins, I do know one thing: it's the love that counts and tme is short. Be with the ones that matter to you most and don't forget to tell them you love them.

  

L'Shana Tova. And stay away from my parking space.